City full of people

Loneliness and depression are my constant companions
In a city full of people I can't seem to connect
Even my faith has come to seem irrelevant to my human experience
As I've fallen into a pit too deep for Jesus' healing balm
All these smiles and eyes but no expression

Where do you go when you can't hide from yourself
When your demons seem stronger than your will
What do you do when you can no longer hear the echo of your own voice
When gloom weighs you down more than fatigue

In a city full of people I can't find a single look
In a city full of strangers I can't make a single friend
Somehow I can't seem to fit this puzzle
Is it me?
Are these hand holdings an illusion?
Is everyone as broken and lost as me?
Or am I trying to survive on an island that I've built myself?

Where are all these kindred spirits?  
Fellow lost souls?
Can I find them?
Will I ever meet them?
Will I remain forever lost in this city full of people?

How can I be lost in a city full of people?
Am I not human too?

Gloom, despair attach to me like Velcro
Like oil on my skin, they prevent anything else from feeling comfortable
How can I drown myself if I've been taught to swim
Perhaps my only friends are what stand between me and this city full of people

This city full of people
This city full of people
And yet as human as I believe myself to be I am lost
Seemingly to never be found

How is there so much darkness in a city full of lights
So many old stories in a city that promises new